Dwight K. Schrute is a salesman and assistant regional manager from Dunder Mifflin Paper Company in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
My favorite quotes from Dwight:
- Reject a woman, and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.
- I have no vampire experience, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got there, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog.
- Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly, I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.
- I come from a long line of fighters. My maternal grandfather was the toughest guy I ever knew. World War Two veteran killed twenty men and spent the rest of the war in an Allied prison camp. My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight.
- I never smile if I can help it. Showing one’s teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.
- Why tip someone for a job I’m capable of doing myself? I can deliver food. I can drive a taxi. I can, and do, cut my own hair. I did however, tip my urologist, because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.
Bonus: Click here to watch one of my favorites!
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